Originally Posted in August, 2012
I have been thinking a great deal over this hiatus about the question “Who does Elena really love?” I read a very interesting essay by @BadWolfLil on her Wallflower Musings tumblr that makes the argument that Elena doesn’t love Damon and has never loved Damon. While I enjoyed reading her essay, I disagree with her conclusion & since I can’t keep my damn mouth shut about anything, I thought I would write a response.
I think the issue with Elena revolves less around her feelings and more around how she views herself. It is important to remember at all times that she is just a teenage girl. Up until her parents died, she was a golden girl, the good girl who did the right thing and agonized over hurting others. Popular, close friends, handsome boyfriend, and the perfect life lay in front of her. At this point her views are more black/white and less nuanced. She was also unhappy, in the sense that she thought there was something more for her. In the normal world, she would have eventually broken up with Matt, dated around, went to college, explored the world, broadened her thinking and eventually found her place. Instead her parent’s car went over Wickory Bridge and she was rescued by a vampire.
Enter Stefan. He also seems to function under the same black/white dichotomy. After the dust settles on his vampire revelation, Elena justifies her ability to be with him, even though she is a good girl. He is not like other vampires. He doesn’t drink human blood and he is moral (and to be honest slightly self-righteous). He will never die and leave her like her parents did. She is able to reconcile his vampire nature to her vision of herself as moral (and again slightly self-righteous). They are two good people, doing good things, and all is simple.
During this initial romance stage with Stefan, in comes Damon. Damon is black, white, grey, and occasionally fuchsia. To say he is immoral is inaccurate. His moral code just does not line up to the traditional moral code Elena has accepted. He is outside of her limited world experience and sometimes does very bad things, yet somehow she cannot seem to see him as only bad. How is that possible? Bad people do bad things and are attracted to bad people. Period. End of story. She is a good person, so anything she does is intrinsically good, including very early on agreeing with Stefan to deceive Damon and lying to his face.
As time goes on, Elena begins to see that this black/white thinking has limitations. Damon does good, cares for others, and risks his life. She is attracted to him and he represents a broadening of her world view she is not prepared for. Also, Saint Stefan’s halo has begun to tarnish. (I want to say, I do not hate Stefan. I love Stefan, especially the multi-dimensional character he is now. His flaws and limitations are there in living color. He has added some aquamarine to his black/white.) He is a brutal killer with a list of wrongs that may rival Damon’s and is just as willing to be selfish to promote his own goals and screw who gets in the way.
But here is why Elena cannot admit to herself or others that she loves Damon and has moved beyond Stefan. To her, all the people who have died and been hurt are due to her relationship with Stefan. Jenna, Alaric, Bill Forbes, John, Vicki, and countless others have died due to her decision to be with a vampire. She can’t leave him or it would be for nothing. Also, it’s not like she is leaving him for a normal Joe Shmoe, but for an even more “evil” vampire! She even has this discussion with Matt on Wickory Bridge. What would that make her? How could she reconcile that person with the good girl who always does the right thing? Stefan has to be worth it and the right one for her or all of the sacrifice was for nothing. This is why I think her becoming a vampire is a total game change (yes, I went there with that cliché). She is now one of the bad guys. She is going to face the blood lust and heightened emotions. She will see things more from Damon’s perspective and maybe it will add a little red into her world view. God, I hope so.
OK, as they say, flame away!
I have been thinking a great deal over this hiatus about the question “Who does Elena really love?” I read a very interesting essay by @BadWolfLil on her Wallflower Musings tumblr that makes the argument that Elena doesn’t love Damon and has never loved Damon. While I enjoyed reading her essay, I disagree with her conclusion & since I can’t keep my damn mouth shut about anything, I thought I would write a response.
I think the issue with Elena revolves less around her feelings and more around how she views herself. It is important to remember at all times that she is just a teenage girl. Up until her parents died, she was a golden girl, the good girl who did the right thing and agonized over hurting others. Popular, close friends, handsome boyfriend, and the perfect life lay in front of her. At this point her views are more black/white and less nuanced. She was also unhappy, in the sense that she thought there was something more for her. In the normal world, she would have eventually broken up with Matt, dated around, went to college, explored the world, broadened her thinking and eventually found her place. Instead her parent’s car went over Wickory Bridge and she was rescued by a vampire.
Enter Stefan. He also seems to function under the same black/white dichotomy. After the dust settles on his vampire revelation, Elena justifies her ability to be with him, even though she is a good girl. He is not like other vampires. He doesn’t drink human blood and he is moral (and to be honest slightly self-righteous). He will never die and leave her like her parents did. She is able to reconcile his vampire nature to her vision of herself as moral (and again slightly self-righteous). They are two good people, doing good things, and all is simple.
During this initial romance stage with Stefan, in comes Damon. Damon is black, white, grey, and occasionally fuchsia. To say he is immoral is inaccurate. His moral code just does not line up to the traditional moral code Elena has accepted. He is outside of her limited world experience and sometimes does very bad things, yet somehow she cannot seem to see him as only bad. How is that possible? Bad people do bad things and are attracted to bad people. Period. End of story. She is a good person, so anything she does is intrinsically good, including very early on agreeing with Stefan to deceive Damon and lying to his face.
As time goes on, Elena begins to see that this black/white thinking has limitations. Damon does good, cares for others, and risks his life. She is attracted to him and he represents a broadening of her world view she is not prepared for. Also, Saint Stefan’s halo has begun to tarnish. (I want to say, I do not hate Stefan. I love Stefan, especially the multi-dimensional character he is now. His flaws and limitations are there in living color. He has added some aquamarine to his black/white.) He is a brutal killer with a list of wrongs that may rival Damon’s and is just as willing to be selfish to promote his own goals and screw who gets in the way.
But here is why Elena cannot admit to herself or others that she loves Damon and has moved beyond Stefan. To her, all the people who have died and been hurt are due to her relationship with Stefan. Jenna, Alaric, Bill Forbes, John, Vicki, and countless others have died due to her decision to be with a vampire. She can’t leave him or it would be for nothing. Also, it’s not like she is leaving him for a normal Joe Shmoe, but for an even more “evil” vampire! She even has this discussion with Matt on Wickory Bridge. What would that make her? How could she reconcile that person with the good girl who always does the right thing? Stefan has to be worth it and the right one for her or all of the sacrifice was for nothing. This is why I think her becoming a vampire is a total game change (yes, I went there with that cliché). She is now one of the bad guys. She is going to face the blood lust and heightened emotions. She will see things more from Damon’s perspective and maybe it will add a little red into her world view. God, I hope so.
OK, as they say, flame away!