Hello, everyone! I am going to attempt to recap two shows this season, but a few words of warning. My opinions are always honest and completely my own. I don’t expect for everyone to agree with me, but I wish for respectful disagreement and not hate. (I also wish for a pony!) Secondly, The Originals will only be mini-recaps. I already write approximately 4000 words a week on The Vampire Diaries along with the thousands of other words a week in other writings and my real life job. This is just for fun and I don’t want it to be a chore. Lastly, if you’ve never read me before, I use adult language and capslock like a mother fucker. Consider it part of my charm, just like Elijah’s magnificent hair.
Now let’s do this bitch!
Shorter Elijah segue - “Family is a pain in the ass. Do you feel me?”
We open on puffy shirts and the fact we don’t get a be-pirated Klaus in the opening episode takes away so many points for me. I’m guessing from my vast knowledge of watching Dangerous Liaisons and reading too many regency romance novels, that this is colonial New Orleans.
Oh, Kol, how I miss you, along with your sporting equipment and being right. I give the Mikaelsons credit, if you are going to dagger your relatives on a regular basis, it’s important to have snazzy coffins handy. Poor Flan isn’t even given a second of screen time, as it should be. Random SAG card recipients are ganked into the dark recesses and Rebekah walks out as if from the set of a Sophia Coppola period piece. Elijah was nattily dressed even then and impeccably mannered and Bekah makes the introductions, saving the best for last in Niklaus.
“Ignore him, he’s a beast.” You’re damn right he is. Rowr.
We need more of this Elijah, by the way. I adore how he commandeers himself a slave in this poor man and somehow makes it seem like he summoned a porter in a 5 star hotel. “By the by, do have an extra mint placed on our pillows and hot and cold running scullery maids.”
Modern Day New Orleans - Rousseau’s
I’m going to jump ahead because it took me a moment to realize something and I want to discuss it now, by way of skipping a great deal of recapping. The majority of this episode is a re-run of the pilot, but told from the viewpoint of Elijah. I understand why it needed to be done in an attempt to bring new viewers up to speed, but the reality is 99.9% of the people watching this watch TVD, so it is somewhat redundant. I do appreciate getting MOAR ELIJAH, so there is that. If you wish to hear my feelings in great detail about scenes we’ve already been shown, just go here http://supernaturalbh.weebly.com/1/post/2013/04/the-vampire-diaries-4x20-the-originals.html . I will only be touching briefly on them.
We see that Elijah has met the Caroline stand in, Camille. Now, why in the ever-loving fuck is he confiding in this random barwench about his dysfunctional family? He is always so reserved and yet he spills his soul like Allison spills her purse in The Breakfast Club. (LOOK IT UP!) I love how Elijah describes Klaus as a little temperamental, as if his worst crime was being denied One Direction concert tickets. Klaus narcissistic and paranoid? Well yes, but when they are out to get you, you have good cause.
Elijah is looking for Jane-Anne Deveraux, as such he is directed to a tour guide who works in 4 inch heels. She is African American, so of course she’s a witch. (THAT HAS GOTTEN SO FUCKING OLD.) I could watch Elijah in that suit saying “Niklaus” or “Katerina” for hours. Possibly days.
Jane-Anne is dead and the guide just leaves her group in the voodoo shop to take Elijah to Sophie who is currently hovering over the dead body. Why haven’t they moved her? They know Marcel is unhinged and yet they linger? Dumb asses. Elijah is informed magic is a bigger nono than open container laws, and gets to see Marcel’s heavy-handed ways in action.
Extras from a remake of The Lost Boys come jumping in and Elijah creeps to watch it all. He gets all perky when Marcel digs for intel on Klaus and why he is in NO looking for Jane-Anne. After tonight, Bonnie Bennett sure wishes witches stayed out of vampire business. Marcel takes the body and Jane-Anne will have no peace.
Elijah makes a phonecall to Rebekah in her perfectly Rebekah bathroom - pink accents, champagne, flowers, and fury. God, I adore her. She has absolutely no fucks to give, or so she says, about whatever Klaus has gotten into, even though she perks up at Marcel’s name. Elijah tries to throw family loyalty in her face, but Bekah has been the most consistently loyal of all of them and all it has gotten her is 900 years of pain, if you recall. That will take a lot of three-ways to get over. Elijah is the true anchor of the family and no matter how he hates Klaus’s motives or means, will always try to save him. How the idiots *cough*Elena*cough* couldn’t see that when trying to get him to completely betray his brother, is beyond me.
Elijah saves Sophie from Marcel’s men and is taken to see the witches’ secret “weapon”. I like the fact she did her hair first before spending more time with him. So would I girl, so would I. Good hair and Elijah go together like Damon and housekeeping. He first must be invited into the cemetery. Huh. Interesting mythology moment. The bottom line is, the witches have had enough of Marcel’s bullshit and went for the big guns, an original vampire, to try and take him down. It is logical in a “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” kind of way, but they have no idea how crazy Klaus is. It’s like trying to take out a rat with a lion. The lion will turn on you eventually.
So werewolf egg met hybrid sperm to make a bouncing bundle of plot point. Mazel tov! I want to like Sophie, but the way she over-enunciates everything makes me want to smack her acting coach. Hayley gives the first of several single sentence indignant comments and I hope to god they give her more to do. I do not get the irrational Hayley hate and the calling her a slut and a whore. Um, she had a one night stand with a hot guy she was attracted to. That defines every sexually healthy, hetero woman I have ever met, including myself. AND NO ONE SAYS A BAD WORD ABOUT KLAUS! That’s is the part that fucking KILLS me. You mother fucking hypocritical bitches would ride Joseph Morgan like it’s the Kentucky Derby and yet you call out this character who did what you wish you could do. Jealousy is an ugly thing and slut-shaming is A MORTAL FUCKING SIN IN MY BIBLE! (I really wish I believed in the whole religion and smiting thing, cause I would be smiting left and right all over twitter every RPer who is calling every other RPer a whore. It gets old, people. GROW UP.) Hate the show, the baby, the setting, Elijah’s hair (OK, not this last one which is also one of my mortal sins), but stop with calling her a whore. It’s beneath you. Now where was I?
Elijah speaks alone with Hayley, and gives a great deal of flashback exposition we’ve already seen, so not recapping. Bottom line, Klaus never had a chance at being mentally balanced and Elijah knows it. He wants to give Klaus that chance at a happy childhood and family through his own child. Not a completely ridiculous proposition. Babies are a horrible cureall, but if you have impossible wealth, minions to spare, and an eternity to recover from the trauma of the teen years it’s not really that crazy.
Side note - As Elijah gives this history lesson, he is pacing the tomb with one hand in his pocket and the other gesticulating precisely. I would have paid much more attention in class if my teacher looked like this.
Sophie blackmails Elijah who then has to strong arm Klaus. It goes exactly as well as we all knew it would. Every scene between these two is pure magic and should be setting off Marcel’s voodoo magic finder like an alarm clock. Sophie has no clue who she is dealing with and tries to lay out rules for Klaus to follow as if he is a dog to be housebroken. The small tilt to Klaus’s head lets Elijah know he is going to dig himself out of this hole Sophie created by using the worst approach ever with Klaus.
I feel for Nik in this. He is obviously moved by the thought of having a child, but he has spent centuries having any weakness exploited through blackmail and deception. He will not allow himself to be put in the position of giving a damn if it is only going to be a weapon used against him.
Elijah uses, of course, all the right words and concepts even if they don’t work immediately. Family. Respect. Dynasty. Loyalty.
Witches argue over the intelligence of trying to harness Klaus and Elijah rightly tells them that no one can. (The closest anyone has ever come is Rebekah and look at how she ended up time and time again.) Sophie demonstrates that these are truly earth friendly witches when it is shown they have recycled the physical bonding spell used in season 2 of TVD. Anything happens to Sophie, happens to Hayley. Um, dumb ass, Klaus just said you can kill Hayley. Why should he care killing you kills 2 (3!) birds with one stone? Overconfidence in dealing with Klaus has brought down far smarter people than you.
And this confrontation with Marcel is the beginning of Klaus changing his mind. Not any threats, but the utter audacity of someone claiming to be his superior. Here is the second person tonight telling Klaus there are rules he needs to follow, so as a canine he does what comes naturally. He pees all over Marcel’s rules, marking this territory as his for the dominating, and dares Marcel to impose a penalty. They really should have whipped out their penises at this point for measuring. Or since this is CW and not HBO, taken off their shirts for a pose off. MAKE THIS HAPPEN, JULIE PLEC!
Another phone call to Rebekah and this time we see her entire suite is as if Laura Ashley threw up all over it. Perfection. Rebekah plays at also hating the idea of the baby, but this is a woman who would give up immortality at the chance of being normal and being a mother. I did not agree for one second with her romanticised notion of humanity, but she ached for it. She is just as stubborn as Klaus in allowing their heart to play any part in their decisions while also allowing their emotions to carry them blindly into one bad choice after the other. Talk about twin flames.
Elijah goes to shmooze Marcel, one gentleman to another. Marcel calls Klaus a little bitch and Elijah keeps a straight face and plays Marcel like a concert piano.
Just as time runs out on their agreement, Elijah carries in the body of Sophie’s dead sister as a show of good faith that he will be a voice of reason between the not very bright witches and his overly emotional brother. Agnes, who no one should listen to ever, wants the deal to be up. And then what? You kill your only bargaining chip, thus bringing not only the wrath of Klaus down on you, but also Elijah? Jesus, that is stupid. Tour guide tells her to shut up and I almost respect her enough to find out if she has a name.
Elijah goes to beat some sense into Klaus, quite literally. “I will not let go. I will never let go.” I had a little bit of a Titanic moment and now cannot unsee these two on the prow of the boat with Klaus proclaiming, “I’m the King of New Orleans!” Anyway, there is a lovely moment after all the name calling where Elijah expresses the regret he has carried with him over not standing up for Klaus when Mikael abused him. Klaus laughs, yet it isn’t at Elijah, but at their incredibly screwed up family. Elijah may be a sentimental fool, however he isn’t a psychopath, so that’s something.
There is a neat little epilogue here before the true finale where Elijah talks of family bonds and you know he believes every word. It is intercut with images of Jane-Anne’s funeral, Rebekah, and the penultimate interchange between brothers. Elijah will try to harness Klaus’s lust for vengeance and power into uniting their brood. And that was his real mistake which lead to the ultimate exchange. Never try to grow something sweet in fetid soil.
Elijah speaks to Hayley as a human being and as the mother of his future niece or nephew. It was respectful and noble, yet some insist on reading true love into it. I have no idea if that is the road the show will take at some point, but NOTHING in this scene, or any other for that matter, spoke of Elijah and Hayley falling for each other. Stop creating things to hate in your mind just because you want to stir up feigned anger at the show. Just stop watching, for fuck’s sake.
Marcel accepted the truce, or at least the ruse passing as a truce. The question of what Marcel has stuffed in his back pocket keeping the witches in line leads to meeting Davina who is currently playing with fire (heh). It appears she is working for Marcel or with him, but what is she exactly? She refers to the witches as if she is not one of them and is most protective of Marcel. Interesting.
The brothers speak of their wayward sister and which of them has faith in Klaus’s redemption arc. Klaus proclaims he hopes Rebekah stays away and begins to speak of vulnerability, of which Rebekah is his biggest, and this goes downhill very quickly.
KLAUS DAGGERED ELIJAH! Well, fuck me running. I did not see that coming and it better not last, because I need that suave creature on my screen on a weekly basis. Please tell me I was not wrong in thinking he was a regular on this show. If he is not to be seen, THAT may hinder my enjoyment of The Originals. There has to be a rational balance. The SuperEgo to Klaus’s Id. (In case anyone is wondering, Rebekah is the Ego, forever trying to maintain balance and harmony.) Oy, I feel nauseous.
So all of that happened and this wasn’t nearly as mini as I had hoped. If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment and I hope to do these along with my regular The Vampire Diaries recaps.
Now let’s do this bitch!
Shorter Elijah segue - “Family is a pain in the ass. Do you feel me?”
We open on puffy shirts and the fact we don’t get a be-pirated Klaus in the opening episode takes away so many points for me. I’m guessing from my vast knowledge of watching Dangerous Liaisons and reading too many regency romance novels, that this is colonial New Orleans.
Oh, Kol, how I miss you, along with your sporting equipment and being right. I give the Mikaelsons credit, if you are going to dagger your relatives on a regular basis, it’s important to have snazzy coffins handy. Poor Flan isn’t even given a second of screen time, as it should be. Random SAG card recipients are ganked into the dark recesses and Rebekah walks out as if from the set of a Sophia Coppola period piece. Elijah was nattily dressed even then and impeccably mannered and Bekah makes the introductions, saving the best for last in Niklaus.
“Ignore him, he’s a beast.” You’re damn right he is. Rowr.
We need more of this Elijah, by the way. I adore how he commandeers himself a slave in this poor man and somehow makes it seem like he summoned a porter in a 5 star hotel. “By the by, do have an extra mint placed on our pillows and hot and cold running scullery maids.”
Modern Day New Orleans - Rousseau’s
I’m going to jump ahead because it took me a moment to realize something and I want to discuss it now, by way of skipping a great deal of recapping. The majority of this episode is a re-run of the pilot, but told from the viewpoint of Elijah. I understand why it needed to be done in an attempt to bring new viewers up to speed, but the reality is 99.9% of the people watching this watch TVD, so it is somewhat redundant. I do appreciate getting MOAR ELIJAH, so there is that. If you wish to hear my feelings in great detail about scenes we’ve already been shown, just go here http://supernaturalbh.weebly.com/1/post/2013/04/the-vampire-diaries-4x20-the-originals.html . I will only be touching briefly on them.
We see that Elijah has met the Caroline stand in, Camille. Now, why in the ever-loving fuck is he confiding in this random barwench about his dysfunctional family? He is always so reserved and yet he spills his soul like Allison spills her purse in The Breakfast Club. (LOOK IT UP!) I love how Elijah describes Klaus as a little temperamental, as if his worst crime was being denied One Direction concert tickets. Klaus narcissistic and paranoid? Well yes, but when they are out to get you, you have good cause.
Elijah is looking for Jane-Anne Deveraux, as such he is directed to a tour guide who works in 4 inch heels. She is African American, so of course she’s a witch. (THAT HAS GOTTEN SO FUCKING OLD.) I could watch Elijah in that suit saying “Niklaus” or “Katerina” for hours. Possibly days.
Jane-Anne is dead and the guide just leaves her group in the voodoo shop to take Elijah to Sophie who is currently hovering over the dead body. Why haven’t they moved her? They know Marcel is unhinged and yet they linger? Dumb asses. Elijah is informed magic is a bigger nono than open container laws, and gets to see Marcel’s heavy-handed ways in action.
Extras from a remake of The Lost Boys come jumping in and Elijah creeps to watch it all. He gets all perky when Marcel digs for intel on Klaus and why he is in NO looking for Jane-Anne. After tonight, Bonnie Bennett sure wishes witches stayed out of vampire business. Marcel takes the body and Jane-Anne will have no peace.
Elijah makes a phonecall to Rebekah in her perfectly Rebekah bathroom - pink accents, champagne, flowers, and fury. God, I adore her. She has absolutely no fucks to give, or so she says, about whatever Klaus has gotten into, even though she perks up at Marcel’s name. Elijah tries to throw family loyalty in her face, but Bekah has been the most consistently loyal of all of them and all it has gotten her is 900 years of pain, if you recall. That will take a lot of three-ways to get over. Elijah is the true anchor of the family and no matter how he hates Klaus’s motives or means, will always try to save him. How the idiots *cough*Elena*cough* couldn’t see that when trying to get him to completely betray his brother, is beyond me.
Elijah saves Sophie from Marcel’s men and is taken to see the witches’ secret “weapon”. I like the fact she did her hair first before spending more time with him. So would I girl, so would I. Good hair and Elijah go together like Damon and housekeeping. He first must be invited into the cemetery. Huh. Interesting mythology moment. The bottom line is, the witches have had enough of Marcel’s bullshit and went for the big guns, an original vampire, to try and take him down. It is logical in a “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” kind of way, but they have no idea how crazy Klaus is. It’s like trying to take out a rat with a lion. The lion will turn on you eventually.
So werewolf egg met hybrid sperm to make a bouncing bundle of plot point. Mazel tov! I want to like Sophie, but the way she over-enunciates everything makes me want to smack her acting coach. Hayley gives the first of several single sentence indignant comments and I hope to god they give her more to do. I do not get the irrational Hayley hate and the calling her a slut and a whore. Um, she had a one night stand with a hot guy she was attracted to. That defines every sexually healthy, hetero woman I have ever met, including myself. AND NO ONE SAYS A BAD WORD ABOUT KLAUS! That’s is the part that fucking KILLS me. You mother fucking hypocritical bitches would ride Joseph Morgan like it’s the Kentucky Derby and yet you call out this character who did what you wish you could do. Jealousy is an ugly thing and slut-shaming is A MORTAL FUCKING SIN IN MY BIBLE! (I really wish I believed in the whole religion and smiting thing, cause I would be smiting left and right all over twitter every RPer who is calling every other RPer a whore. It gets old, people. GROW UP.) Hate the show, the baby, the setting, Elijah’s hair (OK, not this last one which is also one of my mortal sins), but stop with calling her a whore. It’s beneath you. Now where was I?
Elijah speaks alone with Hayley, and gives a great deal of flashback exposition we’ve already seen, so not recapping. Bottom line, Klaus never had a chance at being mentally balanced and Elijah knows it. He wants to give Klaus that chance at a happy childhood and family through his own child. Not a completely ridiculous proposition. Babies are a horrible cureall, but if you have impossible wealth, minions to spare, and an eternity to recover from the trauma of the teen years it’s not really that crazy.
Side note - As Elijah gives this history lesson, he is pacing the tomb with one hand in his pocket and the other gesticulating precisely. I would have paid much more attention in class if my teacher looked like this.
Sophie blackmails Elijah who then has to strong arm Klaus. It goes exactly as well as we all knew it would. Every scene between these two is pure magic and should be setting off Marcel’s voodoo magic finder like an alarm clock. Sophie has no clue who she is dealing with and tries to lay out rules for Klaus to follow as if he is a dog to be housebroken. The small tilt to Klaus’s head lets Elijah know he is going to dig himself out of this hole Sophie created by using the worst approach ever with Klaus.
I feel for Nik in this. He is obviously moved by the thought of having a child, but he has spent centuries having any weakness exploited through blackmail and deception. He will not allow himself to be put in the position of giving a damn if it is only going to be a weapon used against him.
Elijah uses, of course, all the right words and concepts even if they don’t work immediately. Family. Respect. Dynasty. Loyalty.
Witches argue over the intelligence of trying to harness Klaus and Elijah rightly tells them that no one can. (The closest anyone has ever come is Rebekah and look at how she ended up time and time again.) Sophie demonstrates that these are truly earth friendly witches when it is shown they have recycled the physical bonding spell used in season 2 of TVD. Anything happens to Sophie, happens to Hayley. Um, dumb ass, Klaus just said you can kill Hayley. Why should he care killing you kills 2 (3!) birds with one stone? Overconfidence in dealing with Klaus has brought down far smarter people than you.
And this confrontation with Marcel is the beginning of Klaus changing his mind. Not any threats, but the utter audacity of someone claiming to be his superior. Here is the second person tonight telling Klaus there are rules he needs to follow, so as a canine he does what comes naturally. He pees all over Marcel’s rules, marking this territory as his for the dominating, and dares Marcel to impose a penalty. They really should have whipped out their penises at this point for measuring. Or since this is CW and not HBO, taken off their shirts for a pose off. MAKE THIS HAPPEN, JULIE PLEC!
Another phone call to Rebekah and this time we see her entire suite is as if Laura Ashley threw up all over it. Perfection. Rebekah plays at also hating the idea of the baby, but this is a woman who would give up immortality at the chance of being normal and being a mother. I did not agree for one second with her romanticised notion of humanity, but she ached for it. She is just as stubborn as Klaus in allowing their heart to play any part in their decisions while also allowing their emotions to carry them blindly into one bad choice after the other. Talk about twin flames.
Elijah goes to shmooze Marcel, one gentleman to another. Marcel calls Klaus a little bitch and Elijah keeps a straight face and plays Marcel like a concert piano.
Just as time runs out on their agreement, Elijah carries in the body of Sophie’s dead sister as a show of good faith that he will be a voice of reason between the not very bright witches and his overly emotional brother. Agnes, who no one should listen to ever, wants the deal to be up. And then what? You kill your only bargaining chip, thus bringing not only the wrath of Klaus down on you, but also Elijah? Jesus, that is stupid. Tour guide tells her to shut up and I almost respect her enough to find out if she has a name.
Elijah goes to beat some sense into Klaus, quite literally. “I will not let go. I will never let go.” I had a little bit of a Titanic moment and now cannot unsee these two on the prow of the boat with Klaus proclaiming, “I’m the King of New Orleans!” Anyway, there is a lovely moment after all the name calling where Elijah expresses the regret he has carried with him over not standing up for Klaus when Mikael abused him. Klaus laughs, yet it isn’t at Elijah, but at their incredibly screwed up family. Elijah may be a sentimental fool, however he isn’t a psychopath, so that’s something.
There is a neat little epilogue here before the true finale where Elijah talks of family bonds and you know he believes every word. It is intercut with images of Jane-Anne’s funeral, Rebekah, and the penultimate interchange between brothers. Elijah will try to harness Klaus’s lust for vengeance and power into uniting their brood. And that was his real mistake which lead to the ultimate exchange. Never try to grow something sweet in fetid soil.
Elijah speaks to Hayley as a human being and as the mother of his future niece or nephew. It was respectful and noble, yet some insist on reading true love into it. I have no idea if that is the road the show will take at some point, but NOTHING in this scene, or any other for that matter, spoke of Elijah and Hayley falling for each other. Stop creating things to hate in your mind just because you want to stir up feigned anger at the show. Just stop watching, for fuck’s sake.
Marcel accepted the truce, or at least the ruse passing as a truce. The question of what Marcel has stuffed in his back pocket keeping the witches in line leads to meeting Davina who is currently playing with fire (heh). It appears she is working for Marcel or with him, but what is she exactly? She refers to the witches as if she is not one of them and is most protective of Marcel. Interesting.
The brothers speak of their wayward sister and which of them has faith in Klaus’s redemption arc. Klaus proclaims he hopes Rebekah stays away and begins to speak of vulnerability, of which Rebekah is his biggest, and this goes downhill very quickly.
KLAUS DAGGERED ELIJAH! Well, fuck me running. I did not see that coming and it better not last, because I need that suave creature on my screen on a weekly basis. Please tell me I was not wrong in thinking he was a regular on this show. If he is not to be seen, THAT may hinder my enjoyment of The Originals. There has to be a rational balance. The SuperEgo to Klaus’s Id. (In case anyone is wondering, Rebekah is the Ego, forever trying to maintain balance and harmony.) Oy, I feel nauseous.
So all of that happened and this wasn’t nearly as mini as I had hoped. If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment and I hope to do these along with my regular The Vampire Diaries recaps.