Pre-Rant Rant - *sigh* This isn’t much of a rant, more of a defeated, rambling mess of sad. I have always been the one standing along the sidelines with the pompoms and “Delena Forever” banner, carrying an enormous torch for Damon Salvatore. I admit all of these things freely and I know they are shocking to no one. No setback has ever knocked me down or shaken my faith. You guys, I am starting to be shaken now. It’s not even that I am doubting that Damon and Elena belong together, are good for each other, and may wind up together. I am doubting that the show will do this couple justice in any way. They have had approximately 30 seconds of happiness. The dance by the fire was it. Every other moment was either tainted in the back of our minds by thoughts of the sire bond making it unreal, or outright fucked on screen by being intercut with the two harpies, Stefan and Caroline. What I’m trying to say is my heart isn’t in this right now. I plan on doing a much longer piece for next week about Damon’s redemption arc. Knowing what I want to say about that, makes it very difficult to watch what happened this week and not start sobbing into a wine bottle again. I will begin my recap, but I have no idea where it is going to take me or how much time I can put into it before the pain of #DamonTears just breaks my heart all over again. In a way, for the first time ever, I am happy for a hiatus. I need some distance and perspective. I, and many others, have waited for this moment for so long, to only have it be eviscerated with all the negativity is disheartening. I will do my best, but I apologize in advance. I’m going to recap based on my initial reactions, as opposed to how we all know this shakes out.
Mystic Falls...it’s home to so many people I want to stake right now.
They wake up together and it is a testament, again, to the conflict that rages inside of him. You see, he wants to be good. His instinct is to do right by her. The problem is that everyone is telling him the right thing is to let her go, while his heart is saying the right thing is to love her. The “let her go” group has, of course, failed to discuss with Elena what she wants, while Damon is actually considering her feelings. He let her stay with him, because he loves her, wants to be with her, and knows she is saying she wants to be with him. He didn’t make love to her because he is listening to all the naysayers who have told him he is a terrible choice for everyone, always. He tells her "I want to throw you back in my bed and never let you leave." I may have actually whimpered when he said that. If Saint Stefan had 1/100th of the control that Damon is displaying in this scene there would be so many fewer DEAD PEOPLE. The phone rings and I hate whoever is calling. The cockblocker this week is Bonnie and Elena asks Damon if he wants to go with her on the “Help Jeremy Not Commit Sororicide Mission” and there is no way he won’t go to make sure her ass is safe. Of course, this act will later be interpreted as selfish because, “Duh” and these people suck.
Stefan and Klaus engage in more verbal foreplay as Klaus waves his big brush around and talks about how he is leaving me all wet. That’s what I heard! Look, it’s hard to pay attention to the actual words coming out when they are being said by that man with that accent. Stefan smugs while Klaus does his very best not to rolls his eyes at him. The ploy Stefan is using is so obvious that Klaus totally ignores it’s heavy handedness and just shows the magical sword of “I hate this storyline”. Klaus comments on Stefan’s perennial martyr status. Oh, Klaus, that’s Stefan’s one and only move. Every single thing in his life is about being a martyr. I say we just nail him to the cross now and make him completely euphoric.
Kim is still being pissy, even though she should be quite pleased with the fact she retains her heart. She wants action and here comes Hayley to give her some. Not that kind of action! Save it for your fanfiction (and send me a link)! Hayley has a witch to perform some crap that won’t work if it’s Bonnie.
The event of the week is some random snow festival. *yawn* Tyler wants Klaus back inside him and somewhere Stefan’s heart breaks all over again and he doesn’t know why. Caroline is rightly concerned about her prom date being encased in concrete. By the end of my prom, I was hoping someone would do that to mine. So the plan is...temporarily hold Klaus until the hybrids run and then...? They live forever and Klaus is nothing if not tenacious. Seems very short-sighted.
Jeremy? Holy hell, Jeremy! Welcome to the gun show! The wife beater is unattractive, but forgiven. All is forgiven! Swing that axe again, baby! Wait! Don’t swing that axe into your sister’s neck. Bonnie gets the axe from him before he ruins Damon’s pretty car. Oh, god. Bad thought. What if in a coming episode something happens to Damon’s car? I’ve now just put that thought into the universe and it will happen. I apologize.
Damon makes it all better by calling Shane “Professor Shadypants”. Damon is the nickname king and should never change. After a tense doorway standoff, the likes of which are rarely seen outside of missionaries making Saturday morning stop ins, Elena is invited into the cabin. Oh, Jeremy, I’ve wanted to stake those people, too.
Caroline calls the person who understands martyrdom better than anyone to try and undercut Tyler’s plans. That always makes for a healthy relationship. Stefan is blissfully unaware that Elena is with Damon at the cabin, not like it is any of his business anyway, but he sure as shit is going to act like it’s his business later. Caroline realizes that with Klaus decommissioned, they won’t have the sword, but Stefan knows right where it is. He saw the safe. Why is this such an issue they need to stop Tyler? None of this episode is making sense to me in terms of storytelling. Way too many poor explanations for bad decisions.
Side note - So much is forgiven by the fact they used The Waitresses’ song. Carry on.
Caroline and Klaus flirt some more while pretending not to flirt. Caroline actually hesitated in taking a drink because the adults may have an issue with it. There are adults in this town? Who are even semi-aware of their surroundings? And it keeps these teens from drinking? That is just too precious. Caroline says they don’t have a thing, while totally thinking about his thing.
OK. So the sword isn’t in the safe and Stefan calls Damon to fix things. I have /got/ to peep in Damon’s sock drawer. What the hell all does he keep in there besides dirty lithographs of Katherine and love letters from Alaric? Damon lies to his brother and it pains him to do so, but since Stefan was obviously lying about caring if Damon is OK, I call it a draw.
Out comes the metronome for more hypnotism as Professor Shadypants ups the creep factor another notch by caressing all up over Jeremy as he talks. Perfectly understandable after what we saw earlier, but still mildly inappropriate to a teen boy. They need to fiddle in his head, which always has such rousingly good results *ahem* compulsion *ahem*. I would think there would be a Jeremy-shaped hole in the wall as soon as he heard that was where they were headed. It works out just about as well as you’d expect an Elena-based plan to work: “She ruined our lives, she’s not even my real sister, she’s the reason I left my puppy in Denver, she walked in on me in the bathroom with the Victoria’s Secret catalog...” Yeah. Kid has some baggage beyond vampirism.
Can I just tell you how much I enjoyed this scene? Caroline and Stefan are plotting behind Tyler’s back and Tyler cold confronts them on their bullshit. THEN! When Stefan tries to get all up in Tyler’s grill, Tyler pulls his gang of Horrible Hybrids out as his trump card and Stefan tucks his wee little tail between his legs. Hee!
Oh, come on, Elena! Do you have to rub salt in his wound, also?! If you watch closely, it is then that Damon decides to let her go. When she acknowledges her own doubts about fixing the bullshit sire bond, his face pinches and he closes down. It is that exact moment that hope died for him. She is oblivious to his pain as she talks about her love for Stefan fading away, as if it’s not due to the fact they are very different people, she has changed so much since they met, and HE LET HER DIE. (That last part can never be said enough.) She questions if it’s not all due to the sire bond instead of her finding someone who accepts her for the flawed being she is. My own heart is already bleeding for them both.
Tyler chains up the two traitors and throws their asses in concrete into the middle of the ocean. (That last part may have been wishful thinking.)
Damon is always right, so of course he figures out how to fix Jeremy and also exposes Jere’s still intense feelings for Bonnie in one fell swoop. That he does it with a grand, sarcastic exit, even though he is dying inside, only adds to the perfection.
Shane gets right at Elena’s weak spot by showing he has such compassion. Blergh.
I so love the parents of Mystic Falls. Getting their teen sons liquored up & looking at them in uncomfortable ways. Oh, Carol. It’s obvious Carolines earlier concern about parental attitudes was dead on. *rolls eyes* Here is also where I got the very mistaken idea Tyler was a goner. It was already heavily foreshadowed, but instead of seeing this goodbye as signalling Carol is done for, I stuck with Tyler. Mea culpa.
Damon always covers his deep interest with sarcasm. Don't ever believe he isn't following every word intently. Shane tells the story of Silas, again. Obviously Shane wants Silas for something having nothing to do with the de-vamp spell.
I...I hate Caroline. How did that happen? OK, going along with the plan to get rid of Klaus even though he drew her that lovely pony pic AND said he fancied her, I can almost see. But also getting rid of my favorite lost girl in the world, Rebekah? Oh, hell no. Now only one blonde vamp occupies my heart. Call me, Bex, once April de-daggerfies you! Hayley is apparently channelling my anger because she snaps Caroline’s neck with very satisfying crunch.
“I trust him.” Even Damon knows that means Shane is totally untrustworthy. Elena never trusts the right person. I love her, but girl has horrible people reading skills.
The test again to see if Damon was right (of course he was) and Jeremy passes and the scene concludes with another, patented, uncomfortably intimate, TVD hug between people who should not be hugging like that.
Stefan and Klaus act out another scene from “Sexual Tension Theater” and I have to restrain myself from yelling “Kiss!” at the screen. Klaus has that way of speaking slow and close that just begs for a good smooch. Klaus gives some insight into himself that somehow makes Stefan more of a jackass later, but I digress.
April finds “dead” Caroline, Care snaps to, Care “compels” April, Matt is the source of info again. Did really appreciate that snide comment Caroline threw in about April. Bitch. Being mean to April is like kicking a puppy.
I can’t even describe this scene. It is so beautiful in it’s gory grotesquery. Klaus is a magnificent monster and revels in his destruction while also flinching at the annihilation. Bravo, to all involved in this master class in how to create a feeling from sight and sound. This carol will never sound the same to me again.
She brings him mistletoe, because she is still a young girl in love and she believes in the magic of Christmas. For him, there is no longer magic. It has all left his world and he feels every day of his 170 years. Feels every minute. The only magic he hopes still exists is for her. And the guilt if his actions, or inactions is eating him alive. There is never any peace for him. He even feels guilty about hurting the brother that shows no regard for him and his feelings. Damon always bears the weight of the world on his shoulders, but I’ve never seen him so tired and beaten down. He chokes on the words, but finishes them anyway. Everyone who has a heart themselves is dying inside for him.
Speaking of guilt - here is Stefan having a moment of real insight into what a monster and asshole he is. But here is my issue, it is all tied to him seeing Klaus as a multi-dimensional being and no flat caricature he had created. And none of this does he tie in any way to the brother that has just sacrificed his own happiness. The brother that does the right thing so much more often than the wrong. The brother that is as much of a Stelena fan as any other deluded person out there. Nope. He drew this insight from a trunk full of letters from fucking Klaus and not the 1000 other ways that Damon has been the better brother, man, and human being than Saint fucking Stefan. Oh! But it gets even better! You see, Damon had the audacity to make love to Elena and Elena’s vagina still belongs to Stefan and how could Damon possibly try to have a moment of happiness when everything he ever does should revolve around making sure that Stefan never comes in second place or knows a moment of losing. I have never hated Stefan and Caroline more than I do in what I imagine is supposed to be a touching scene of Stefan’s heartbreak, but only makes me want to touch them both with a damn sledgehammer. The fact that Caroline points this out as a reason Stefan shouldn’t trust Damon is why she is included in the bashing.
And then there is one more soft cracking sound as the last of the shattered hearts collapse into nothingness and Elena leaves him.
Tyler surveys the destruction and death, along with April as the silent witness. She is going to undagger Bex and I will love them both forever.
Poor Carol. She begs for his life, the life of her son, but knows her death is at hand rather quickly. You wonder if there isn’t a bit of peace in that as well, knowing you are the one that will die for revenge as opposed to your child. There is no peace in her murder. It is as ugly as the hybrid deaths were beautiful. As it should be.
Mystic Falls...it’s home to so many people I want to stake right now.
They wake up together and it is a testament, again, to the conflict that rages inside of him. You see, he wants to be good. His instinct is to do right by her. The problem is that everyone is telling him the right thing is to let her go, while his heart is saying the right thing is to love her. The “let her go” group has, of course, failed to discuss with Elena what she wants, while Damon is actually considering her feelings. He let her stay with him, because he loves her, wants to be with her, and knows she is saying she wants to be with him. He didn’t make love to her because he is listening to all the naysayers who have told him he is a terrible choice for everyone, always. He tells her "I want to throw you back in my bed and never let you leave." I may have actually whimpered when he said that. If Saint Stefan had 1/100th of the control that Damon is displaying in this scene there would be so many fewer DEAD PEOPLE. The phone rings and I hate whoever is calling. The cockblocker this week is Bonnie and Elena asks Damon if he wants to go with her on the “Help Jeremy Not Commit Sororicide Mission” and there is no way he won’t go to make sure her ass is safe. Of course, this act will later be interpreted as selfish because, “Duh” and these people suck.
Stefan and Klaus engage in more verbal foreplay as Klaus waves his big brush around and talks about how he is leaving me all wet. That’s what I heard! Look, it’s hard to pay attention to the actual words coming out when they are being said by that man with that accent. Stefan smugs while Klaus does his very best not to rolls his eyes at him. The ploy Stefan is using is so obvious that Klaus totally ignores it’s heavy handedness and just shows the magical sword of “I hate this storyline”. Klaus comments on Stefan’s perennial martyr status. Oh, Klaus, that’s Stefan’s one and only move. Every single thing in his life is about being a martyr. I say we just nail him to the cross now and make him completely euphoric.
Kim is still being pissy, even though she should be quite pleased with the fact she retains her heart. She wants action and here comes Hayley to give her some. Not that kind of action! Save it for your fanfiction (and send me a link)! Hayley has a witch to perform some crap that won’t work if it’s Bonnie.
The event of the week is some random snow festival. *yawn* Tyler wants Klaus back inside him and somewhere Stefan’s heart breaks all over again and he doesn’t know why. Caroline is rightly concerned about her prom date being encased in concrete. By the end of my prom, I was hoping someone would do that to mine. So the plan is...temporarily hold Klaus until the hybrids run and then...? They live forever and Klaus is nothing if not tenacious. Seems very short-sighted.
Jeremy? Holy hell, Jeremy! Welcome to the gun show! The wife beater is unattractive, but forgiven. All is forgiven! Swing that axe again, baby! Wait! Don’t swing that axe into your sister’s neck. Bonnie gets the axe from him before he ruins Damon’s pretty car. Oh, god. Bad thought. What if in a coming episode something happens to Damon’s car? I’ve now just put that thought into the universe and it will happen. I apologize.
Damon makes it all better by calling Shane “Professor Shadypants”. Damon is the nickname king and should never change. After a tense doorway standoff, the likes of which are rarely seen outside of missionaries making Saturday morning stop ins, Elena is invited into the cabin. Oh, Jeremy, I’ve wanted to stake those people, too.
Caroline calls the person who understands martyrdom better than anyone to try and undercut Tyler’s plans. That always makes for a healthy relationship. Stefan is blissfully unaware that Elena is with Damon at the cabin, not like it is any of his business anyway, but he sure as shit is going to act like it’s his business later. Caroline realizes that with Klaus decommissioned, they won’t have the sword, but Stefan knows right where it is. He saw the safe. Why is this such an issue they need to stop Tyler? None of this episode is making sense to me in terms of storytelling. Way too many poor explanations for bad decisions.
Side note - So much is forgiven by the fact they used The Waitresses’ song. Carry on.
Caroline and Klaus flirt some more while pretending not to flirt. Caroline actually hesitated in taking a drink because the adults may have an issue with it. There are adults in this town? Who are even semi-aware of their surroundings? And it keeps these teens from drinking? That is just too precious. Caroline says they don’t have a thing, while totally thinking about his thing.
OK. So the sword isn’t in the safe and Stefan calls Damon to fix things. I have /got/ to peep in Damon’s sock drawer. What the hell all does he keep in there besides dirty lithographs of Katherine and love letters from Alaric? Damon lies to his brother and it pains him to do so, but since Stefan was obviously lying about caring if Damon is OK, I call it a draw.
Out comes the metronome for more hypnotism as Professor Shadypants ups the creep factor another notch by caressing all up over Jeremy as he talks. Perfectly understandable after what we saw earlier, but still mildly inappropriate to a teen boy. They need to fiddle in his head, which always has such rousingly good results *ahem* compulsion *ahem*. I would think there would be a Jeremy-shaped hole in the wall as soon as he heard that was where they were headed. It works out just about as well as you’d expect an Elena-based plan to work: “She ruined our lives, she’s not even my real sister, she’s the reason I left my puppy in Denver, she walked in on me in the bathroom with the Victoria’s Secret catalog...” Yeah. Kid has some baggage beyond vampirism.
Can I just tell you how much I enjoyed this scene? Caroline and Stefan are plotting behind Tyler’s back and Tyler cold confronts them on their bullshit. THEN! When Stefan tries to get all up in Tyler’s grill, Tyler pulls his gang of Horrible Hybrids out as his trump card and Stefan tucks his wee little tail between his legs. Hee!
Oh, come on, Elena! Do you have to rub salt in his wound, also?! If you watch closely, it is then that Damon decides to let her go. When she acknowledges her own doubts about fixing the bullshit sire bond, his face pinches and he closes down. It is that exact moment that hope died for him. She is oblivious to his pain as she talks about her love for Stefan fading away, as if it’s not due to the fact they are very different people, she has changed so much since they met, and HE LET HER DIE. (That last part can never be said enough.) She questions if it’s not all due to the sire bond instead of her finding someone who accepts her for the flawed being she is. My own heart is already bleeding for them both.
Tyler chains up the two traitors and throws their asses in concrete into the middle of the ocean. (That last part may have been wishful thinking.)
Damon is always right, so of course he figures out how to fix Jeremy and also exposes Jere’s still intense feelings for Bonnie in one fell swoop. That he does it with a grand, sarcastic exit, even though he is dying inside, only adds to the perfection.
Shane gets right at Elena’s weak spot by showing he has such compassion. Blergh.
I so love the parents of Mystic Falls. Getting their teen sons liquored up & looking at them in uncomfortable ways. Oh, Carol. It’s obvious Carolines earlier concern about parental attitudes was dead on. *rolls eyes* Here is also where I got the very mistaken idea Tyler was a goner. It was already heavily foreshadowed, but instead of seeing this goodbye as signalling Carol is done for, I stuck with Tyler. Mea culpa.
Damon always covers his deep interest with sarcasm. Don't ever believe he isn't following every word intently. Shane tells the story of Silas, again. Obviously Shane wants Silas for something having nothing to do with the de-vamp spell.
I...I hate Caroline. How did that happen? OK, going along with the plan to get rid of Klaus even though he drew her that lovely pony pic AND said he fancied her, I can almost see. But also getting rid of my favorite lost girl in the world, Rebekah? Oh, hell no. Now only one blonde vamp occupies my heart. Call me, Bex, once April de-daggerfies you! Hayley is apparently channelling my anger because she snaps Caroline’s neck with very satisfying crunch.
“I trust him.” Even Damon knows that means Shane is totally untrustworthy. Elena never trusts the right person. I love her, but girl has horrible people reading skills.
The test again to see if Damon was right (of course he was) and Jeremy passes and the scene concludes with another, patented, uncomfortably intimate, TVD hug between people who should not be hugging like that.
Stefan and Klaus act out another scene from “Sexual Tension Theater” and I have to restrain myself from yelling “Kiss!” at the screen. Klaus has that way of speaking slow and close that just begs for a good smooch. Klaus gives some insight into himself that somehow makes Stefan more of a jackass later, but I digress.
April finds “dead” Caroline, Care snaps to, Care “compels” April, Matt is the source of info again. Did really appreciate that snide comment Caroline threw in about April. Bitch. Being mean to April is like kicking a puppy.
I can’t even describe this scene. It is so beautiful in it’s gory grotesquery. Klaus is a magnificent monster and revels in his destruction while also flinching at the annihilation. Bravo, to all involved in this master class in how to create a feeling from sight and sound. This carol will never sound the same to me again.
She brings him mistletoe, because she is still a young girl in love and she believes in the magic of Christmas. For him, there is no longer magic. It has all left his world and he feels every day of his 170 years. Feels every minute. The only magic he hopes still exists is for her. And the guilt if his actions, or inactions is eating him alive. There is never any peace for him. He even feels guilty about hurting the brother that shows no regard for him and his feelings. Damon always bears the weight of the world on his shoulders, but I’ve never seen him so tired and beaten down. He chokes on the words, but finishes them anyway. Everyone who has a heart themselves is dying inside for him.
Speaking of guilt - here is Stefan having a moment of real insight into what a monster and asshole he is. But here is my issue, it is all tied to him seeing Klaus as a multi-dimensional being and no flat caricature he had created. And none of this does he tie in any way to the brother that has just sacrificed his own happiness. The brother that does the right thing so much more often than the wrong. The brother that is as much of a Stelena fan as any other deluded person out there. Nope. He drew this insight from a trunk full of letters from fucking Klaus and not the 1000 other ways that Damon has been the better brother, man, and human being than Saint fucking Stefan. Oh! But it gets even better! You see, Damon had the audacity to make love to Elena and Elena’s vagina still belongs to Stefan and how could Damon possibly try to have a moment of happiness when everything he ever does should revolve around making sure that Stefan never comes in second place or knows a moment of losing. I have never hated Stefan and Caroline more than I do in what I imagine is supposed to be a touching scene of Stefan’s heartbreak, but only makes me want to touch them both with a damn sledgehammer. The fact that Caroline points this out as a reason Stefan shouldn’t trust Damon is why she is included in the bashing.
And then there is one more soft cracking sound as the last of the shattered hearts collapse into nothingness and Elena leaves him.
Tyler surveys the destruction and death, along with April as the silent witness. She is going to undagger Bex and I will love them both forever.
Poor Carol. She begs for his life, the life of her son, but knows her death is at hand rather quickly. You wonder if there isn’t a bit of peace in that as well, knowing you are the one that will die for revenge as opposed to your child. There is no peace in her murder. It is as ugly as the hybrid deaths were beautiful. As it should be.